This year will be our 7th Valentine’s day together. I met my husband of 4 years at work, he was standing by the coffee machine, looking bored and handsome and that was that. We were young (or younger haha) and carefree and the only key decisions we had to make were about where should the dinner reservations be made or which gym class should we attend. Not to forget that Valentine’s day was a thing we looked forward to (or at least I did). I’m sure you know the drill, perhaps you’ve done it yourself or doing it as we speak. Then 1.5 years ago we had our daughter. Suddenly we were in the trenches, where we still are today (haha). Trying our best to juggle the ever so increasing demands of parenthood, our jobs and the daily grind of life. It was a quick transition. The move from going wine tasting with friends to spending long, mega boring and worried hours at the A&E (Accidents and Emergencies).
I am not complaining, we love our daughter and we are immensely grateful for the life we have built together and we work our asses off to make time for everything. But there is a strong sense of acknowledgement, that life has changed.
When it was just the two of us, our relationship was everything. Now? It is somewhere near the bottom of our priorities. Impromptu date nights, romantic movie nights, no chance, we are too busy scrubbing pen marks off the sofa or reading bedtime stories to our daughter and then tucking ourselves into bed along with her at 8 pm.
It sounds brutal but it’s also in a weird and inexplicable way deeply romantic, a state of suspended romance with the faith that we will in slow measures resurrect it from vanishing permanently. Being a project manager myself, I know what the aim of our project is, it is to raise a child. And if we started getting distracted by our emotional dramas of feeling hurt about the fact that we no longer are the centre of each other’s universe then our project will crash. So we suck it up!
This doesn’t mean that we don’t have any romance flowing between us. But grand sweeping gestures are a thing of the past now and the word spontaneous has been temporarily suspended from our dictionary, because everything has to be planned and even if it is, we seem to be always running late because there are too many variables (nappies, wipes, baby food and baby mood etc) to control before leaving the house. So what do we do now, we do micro-romance, like just now the funny messages overladen with ‘lols’ that we exchanged on whatsapp. Or the ‘Game of Thrones’ episodes we watch together in the evening while multi tasking- making dinner, feeding our daughter and loading the dishwasher because, really, we don’t need to reaffirm our love by cuddling on the couch like we did in the pre daughter era.
So the truth is that the definition of romance changes and evolves with time and specially if you have children, it totally transforms the whole idea of what romance meant in the early ‘falling in love’ phase where you most definitely indulge in all shades of cheesy cliché acts of love and shamelessly enjoy it. So despite the fact that we barely have any time alone (except at night when Ella is asleep and at that point we are whispering ninjas who too scared to do anything lest we wake the baby up), we have created our own version of romance that we do very much enjoy.
Happy Valentines day xx
WHAT I AM WEARING
Suit: Zara (bought) (linked similar)
Bag: Mulberry (bought)
Shoes: KOI Footwear (gifted)